sorry, my mom said my anaconda can’t
Vampires who look and dress like fourteen-year-old budding goth kids because no one will ever believe that they’re actually vampires, no matter what they might see or hear.
Vampires wearing bad plastic fangs and tacky red contacts everywhere they go and telling people to call them things like “Lord Bloodfang McDarkness the Third” and “Salacia, Mistress of the Night”.
Apparently it’s not socially acceptable for a man to invite another man out just for coffee or to go out for a meal, in case it’s perceived as a date. Like it’s fine if you wanna go to the pub and drink beer and have a chat but make it non-alcoholic and suddenly you’re not straight anymore? You can go to the cinema together but ONLY if it’s an action movie. You guys can’t even just go shopping with each other. Oh masculinity, so fragile, so strange.